


What can I do but sit and ponder my life?

by orphan_account



Category: Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Dream In Prison, Gen, How Do I Tag, OOC?, Other, POV First Person, Pandora's Vault, Projecting HARD, Questioning Reality, Rambling, Thinking about life and why it is what it is., bored as all heck, hope that isn't annoying, random thoughts that I wanted to write
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-23
Updated: 2021-01-30
Packaged: 2021-03-15 20:02:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 1,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28944117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: With as little as there is in this prison cell, what more is there to do but sit and write. Not much to do, so might as well think.
Comments: 3
Kudos: 19





	1. Life is odd isn't it?

**Author's Note:**

> I feel weird and wanted to write, but as I started I realized I could make it a story, this will be just rambling but I think it fits. IF people like it let me know, I will probably write more anyway but if you have any tips for writing Dream I would appreciate it.

Hmm life is odd isn't it? I've always wondered about my life, how I got where I did. Why I am what I am. There isn't much to do in here so why not think, I need to remember what I think to stay myself I think. Is there a point in my life where I became myself? Well now I have time to ponder it. Time to ask and answer the questions I avoid and didn't have time to worry about. I need to stop saying think, it doesn't feel like a word anymore to me. 

I have time now, but I don't want to face those questions yet. 

I've never understood how other's minds work. Ironic as a "master manipulator" like myself being unable to imagine how others process life. I understand how people act, how they will respond to my words. How certain situations will impact that persons mind. All that makes sense to me, it's easier then breathing sometimes. I can watch someone, study them, learn every in and out of their behavior. I can't see how their head functions. Do others minds work like mine? I doubt it but I can't figure out how else someone can think. Could someone have an empty mind and not try to fill that space like their life depended on it? How do people live in silence? I guess I'll learn now. It is much too quiet in this place. It drives me mad, and I hate it more then being trapped. Is it odd I don't mind being trapped as much? I kind of like having time to myself. It's the silence and lack of stimulus that I hate. That's all I have to say for now. This is today, I don't really remember the date.


	2. Day 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Very short, these chapters will be written as if dream is really writing. Sorry I haven't updated.

I am sick of this place. These walls, this lava, the clock. I hate it here, I really damn hate this. I heard from Sam Tommy might be coming. Good, I need someone to talk to. Oh well, I can sleep until then. I've been sleeping for the first time in quite awhile.


	3. Day 4

I hate it in here. I really really hate it in here. The walls are boring and I don't have enough to do. I'm starting to tire of sleeping all the time. I should probably jot down my thoughts in here.  
I wish there was a jukebox in here, I came to like that song Tommy played. Chirp it was called? It reminded me of fishing with Cal and George. We found that disc in our first dudgeon together I think. I loved taking breaks and relaxing with the rods. No matter how long our breaks lasted, they never felt long enough to me. This place has always been too busy, ever since Tommy arrived things changed. I didn't want it to change. 

I miss them, George, Sapnap, Cal, everyone. Was I lying to myself when I said I had abandoned attachment? I might have, it wouldn't be that odd for me. I have a habit of that. When I look back, I lied more often then I should have, I got too prideful. 

I'm not a good writer, I never was and probably will never be. I need to keep writing though.


	4. Day6

George and Sapnap used to play a game with me. We would take turns tying a blindfold around someone's head, and hide in the community house. The person with the blindfold would have to rely on their other senses to find the other two. Sapnap was way better then I was at it. He had this technique he used. He'd move on all fours and listen for our breathing, he looked so ridiculous doing it, but it worked. I would watch him moving around, he memorized the layout of our house that way. At first the reason he found us was our laughter, I'd always lose it when he got close to George, it looked so funny. We got used to it though, and we got better at hiding. One time late at night, I saw Sapnap finding things on all fours because he had learned the house better on the ground then just walking around. George would stumble around tripping on everything no matter how many times we played. He fell onto us more often then he actually found us.

I miss them.


	5. Day 7

I feel like writing, but I have no idea what to say. The walls are empty like my mind. It's scary for me. Very scary for me. I'll add more when I think of something. 

I miss...


	6. Day 8

Tommy was a problem to me. Wasn't he a problem for us all? He was a wild card, he did what he wanted and didn't care what happened.   
That doesn't mean he needed to die. Why did I leave him alone for a week. I should have been more careful. I knew he was close but I was too confident in him. He wasn't meant to die. Tubbo was meant to die, not him. I should have been nicer to him. 

I should have done a lot of things. I should have made sure Tommy was farther away from him. I should have deactivated the portal. I should have stopped playing with them for two seconds and thought about Tommy. Tommy was a hero not a pawn to me. 

He didn't need to die for Tubbo. 

That scream, his scream as he fell. Why did I kill him. Why did I hurt them so badly. Of course no one visits. The blood along the floor. The shouts of everyone. Tubbo wasn't meant to live. Tommy was. 

Why did he jump in front of me. I wasn't careful. 

I'm too overconfident. My weakness. My weakness is my own power. I was too trigger happy. I shouldn't have tried to kill Tubbo like that. I should have pushed him off the lift as we went down. Then he wouldn't have had time to stop me. Tommy would be here, He would be alive. 

Tubbo was meant to die.


End file.
